Heads up Christmas shoppers: these 13 things you may do annoy retail workers to no end

It’s the holiday shopping season and there are certain things many shoppers do that annoy retail workers to no end. If you want to stay in their good books, try to avoid doing the following things:

  • “After you look at a product and decide you don’t want to buy it, please put it back where you found it instead of just throwing it on the goddamn floor. C’mon people, have a little class. Pretty please with sugar on top.'”
  • “Don’t buy clothing for a formal event, wear it to said formal event, then decide you want to return the item the next day for a full refund. Not cool for obvious reasons. Particularly not very cool when you have a great big fruit punch stain on the garment, then claim it was like that when you bought it (but never noticed). Oh, the price tag ‘fell off’ you say? That’s weird. Why does it never fall off when it’s in our store? And, I do mean never.”
  • “Our area recently experienced flooding and everybody purchased sump pumps which are not returnable after use. But several customers attempted to return the pumps after they completed their clean up projects. A customer brought in a pump in an opened box and insisted that it was not used. Upon inspection of the pump, I got water on my hands and I stated that obviously the pump had been used and denied the refund. Please customers… DON’T LIE.”
  • “A customer returned items that were covered in dust and dirt. I stated that I could not return them and restock on the shelves in this condition. She responded that if I gave her a cloth she would wipe them clean. I gave her some hand-wipes and processed her refund. She wiped her hands and left the store leaving me to wipe down the returned merchandise. Please customers… BE CONSIDERATE.”
  • “Theft is a problem for every retailer on the planet. On average, two percent of every retailer’s sales mysteriously ‘walks’ out the door. Interesting, given inventory doesn’t have legs.”
  • “Do not leave articles of clothing crumpled on the floor, with footprints on them, after you try them on in the fitting room.”
  • “Do NOT let your kids run all around the store, screaming their heads off and knocking merchandise off the shelves and stands.”
  • “Do not speak on your cell phone at a volume that may shatter our window glass and burst our eardrums. Our insurance does not cover such acts of thoughtlessness.”
  • “One thing that really annoys me is customers who will just take several things off a peg hook, drop them on the floor, get what they want or nothing at all, and just leave the mess. I’m not a maid and it’d be nice if they’d clean up after themselves.”
  • “Do not ask us to honor the coupons that you do not have in your possession at the time. Do NOT ask us to accept any imaginary coupons.”
  • “Shoppers intending to make purchases absolutely, positively, must bring their funds with them! [I am seriously considering putting up a sign charging $20/day, rounded up, for a ‘stand by’ fee, especially when I have already rung up your items and now have to void them.]”
  • “In the U.S., prices are nearly always non-negotiable. Don’t bother trying to haggle: You’re just wasting your time and ours. If you tell us what you are looking to spend, we can often find a product that meets your needs and costs what you want to pay.”
  • “Please say ‘please’ when you are requesting service. Even though we are paid (and not as much as you think) to serve you, all sale associates are still human beings and you do not really own us. Please remember that.”